Leading by Example

Coaches come in all different shapes, sizes, and temperaments. Playing organized sports all my life, I think I had just about very assortment you could imagine.  Some coaches I loved, some I hated, and some I had no opinion.  However, there was one type of coach I simply could not stand, regardless of the sport.  That was the coach that yelled and pushed you to your breaking point physically with running sprints, weight lifting massive amounts or having you run the play over and over.  My distain for this coach was not about his drive to make me a better athlete.  He had one more attribute that put him in the category of most hated; he couldn’t physically do one thing he was asking me or my teammates to do. He was the coach that would make you feel inadequate, yet if you asked him to run a 50-yard sprint, you would consider having the ambulance on standby. 

This is not a post about shaming out of shape individuals. This is not even a post about being a coach, which I have done for the last decade.  This is a post about being a leader.  True leaders are willing and able to do whatever they ask of you. I made a vow that anything I ever asked of my athletes, I better make sure I could do myself. Think about it.  Would you listen to a teacher who told you to study but was never prepared with a lesson plan?  Would you take advice from a life coach that has never accomplished anything in their life?  Would you respond to a trainer that was more unfit than you? I wouldn’t, on all accounts. That is not to say that they do not have valuable lessons to teach or information to share. It is to highlight the fact that people are willing to follow someone who is capable and competent in their area of expertise. 

This perspective spilled into many other facets of my life. Now, I am no Saint and have never claimed to be perfect, which is why I am very careful about my wording and approach.  For example, I am a smoker and have been since the age of 12.  I do not smoke around my kids, but they have seen me have a cigarette.  That is why I never demand of my children that they “never smoke.” Of course, I don’t want them to smoke but I don’t live by the adage, “Do as I say, not as I do!”  Instead, when the topic comes up, I tell them I don’t want them to smoke.  That it is not good for them and I would prefer they chose better than Daddy. I refuse to be a hypocrite. Therefore, I never ask of anyone what I cannot do, when I am in a leadership position. If the task at hand is to lead, then lead by example.  If you choose not to lead by example, choose your words carefully when giving orders. Lastly, never make someone feel less than because they cannot do something, even if you could “back in the day.” 

Maybe my opinion will change if I am still coaching into my 70’s.  What won’t change, even at 70, is my effort to maintain my ability to match the efforts of my players or clients.  I may not be able to do it at their speed, level, or intensity but I will be impressive for what I can do at my age.